MobileMom

Retired MobileMom

Dear friends and readers,

I'm retiring from this blog. This blog will remain as a reference blog. All personal entries that reflects my life shall be kept private from now. Thank you to all the readers and followers who have been following my journey. MobileMom shall now rest with a new spirit. I have found what I've been looking for all this while. My soul searching is completed. Alhamdulillah.

I can be contacted through e-mail if you need to "talk/chat/ask". I will still check my emails of course.

p.s

I'm still the same ole' person that some of you (my true friends of course) knows me. No worries. :)

Have a good journey and fruitful life. LiveSTRONG! Be a survivor, be strong and have faith!

Regards,

MobileMom

PLEASE HELP THIS CHILD MY DEAR FRIENDS

A little girl needs your help. Little Qistina does not know and understand what she's going through right now. She's too young and she want's to see the world but she's got one big hurdle right now and that is to get well. She's got Hepatoblastoma and she does not know what it is. It is actually a type of liver cancer that is consider quite rare and unfortunately she has it.

Please go to this website for more information about her: http://www.qistina.org/

http://www.lpch.org/DiseaseHealthInfo/HealthLibrary/oncology/hepato.html

Mekkah Al-Mukkaramah (Part 3)

Traveling to Mekkah was an amazing experience for me. I never imagine my self setting my foot in Mekkah at 35.

As soon as we arrived Mekkah, we checked in to the hotel which was few hundred meters away from King Fahd entrance. We actually arrived on Thursday afternoon and the pilgrims just finished their Zohor prayers.

Actually, there are just too many experience that I went through in Mekkah which I feel that I'd like to keep it as it is. But I can tell you the wonderful feeling and that you'll be mesmerized as you set you foot in Masjidil Haram. Trust me, you can't find that feeling anywhere else in this world. Such a very peaceful feeling indeed. You are surrounded by people who are there with the same purpose as you.

We did our first Umrah after Isya' prayers for the first time. I can't explain to you the feeling I felt when I saw the Ka'bah for the first time with my own two eyes. You need to go there and feel that experience. For those who have been there, they will know what I mean.

Even though the pilgrims know that they are not supposed to bring in camera phones, there are other pilgrims who did smuggle their camera phones in and took picture in front of the Ka'bah.

We completed doing our ziarah luar within 2 days. All in all, Alhamdulillah we managed to do Umrah 3 times. I got to do tawaf sunat few times and ALLAH have been very kind to me through out my spiritual journey. I felt so blessed given the experience and opportunity to perform my Umrah without any major problem. Syukur Alhamdulillah.

Through out doing all my tawaf and sa'i, Alhamdulillah I managed to do all without using the wheel chair. It was amazing. Syukur Alhamdulillah.

Our last day in Mekkah was a tearful experience especially for me. I wished I could stay longer. I was so sad to leave Madinah and then leaving Mekkah few days later. I prayed that this trip will not be my last. Insya'ALLAH with HIS permission, I will be back soon.

Now that we're back to our normality life especially with the children and all, I am always reminded by that peaceful feeling in Madinah and Mekkah. Especially inside Masjidil Haram where I would seat facing Ka'bah. I can never find that feeling anywhere else in the world. The miracles of being in Masjidil Haram is such and experience for me. I love it there and I will go back there soon especially when I looked back at all the photos above.

Insya'ALLAH.

Pictures: From Top -> The main gate as you enter Mekkah Al-Mukkaramah.

2nd & 3rd -> One of the main entrance of Masjidil Haram, King Fahd entrance.

4th -> Mesjid Quba. Solat sunat in Quba mosque is equvalent to doing an Umrah in Masjidil Haram.

5th -> Arafah

6th -> Bukit Tsaur. The hill and cave where the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w and Abu Bakar was hiding as they were about to hijrah to Madinah.

7th -> The camel ride in Arafah.

8th -> Mesjid Hudaibiyah or what's left of it. This is the mosque that Prophet Muhammad s.a.w built and also where he had meetings with the bani Quraish. It was a year before he went back into Mekkah.

9th -> Another view of Bukit Tsaur.

10th -> Desert camels

11th -> The Badwins (sp) living in the desert.

12th -> Makam Siti Khadijah (the Prophet's 1st wife) in Mekkah. It's on top of the hill.

13th -> Mina

14th -> The house where the Prophet Muhammad s.a.w was born. Now it's turned into a library. (Far a head)

15th -> Ice cream Mekkah which you must not miss. Yummy!! Must try!!

16th -> After Friday prayers in Masjidil Haram. (View taken from the hotel room).

17th -> Another view from the hotel.

18th -> The (not so) Red Sea.

19th -> The floating Mosque in Jeddah.

20th -> The Jeddah airport. During Haj period, the pilgrims will be brought to this area.

Di sudut hati ku, masih ku dapat rasakan dengan mendalam akan pengalaman manis yang sangat berharga buat ku itu. Terima kasih ya ALLAH kerana memberi ku peluang keemasan ini. Kini setiap malam, masih ku mimpi seperti akan berada di Mekkah dan Madinah. Insya'ALLAH, aku akan kembali ke sana.

Happy Birthday Princess

Happy birthday little princess...

4 years ago mommy brought you out into this world and when I look at you now, I can't believe that it has been 4 years already. You'll always be mommy and daddy's little princess darling.

We love you sweetie.

Spiritual Trip - Medinah (Part 2)

We left on Monday evening to Madinah via Jeddah. The flight to Jeddah was about 8 hours plus. We arrived in Jeddah late evening and stayed overnight at Jeddah Dallah Airport. We had to catch the next flight to Madinah next morning. On the same flight to Jeddah, we had a well known celebrity "Dato" onboard. She was going to meet her son in Madinah and perform her Umrah together with him.

I was quite nervous actually. I didn't know what to expect. I don't hope for anything but prayed that ALLAH would make the whole process easier for us when perform the umrah.

I was really looking forward for this trip. I had  been waiting and preparing for this trip for a year. So there I was in Jeddah catching the next morning flight to Madinah.

I managed to take a snap shot of our luggage's before the flight to Madinah.

Another picture taken before departing Jeddah airport to Madinah.

We arrived Madinah around noon. We had taken the tour agency that caters to our personal need. The "mutawif" picked us up at the airport and checked us in straight at the hotel which was a walking distance to the entrance of Mesjid Nabawi.

One thing about going to Mesjid Nabawi is that the ladies will have to go through a designated entrance/gate while the men can enter through any of the gates open. At first I was worried about going in alone, but after being brief by the "mutawif", it wasn't that bad after all. Besides, I was not the only Malaysian or Asian pilgrim. There were quite a number of groups from Malaysia and Indonesia actually. But I somehow managed to do it on my own.

By the time we arrived at the mosque, I couldn't get into Raudha because Raudha is only opened to ladies at a certain time. Usually in the morning it would be from 7am - 10am while afternoon it would be after zohor prayers from 1:30pm - 3pm (if I'm not mistaken). As for the men, Raudhah is opened all day till late night. Because of the timing, I would make sure that I have my breakfast early after Subuh prayers and go back to the mosque and wait till the gate for Raudha is open.

We were fortunate that we managed to complete our "ziarah luar" on the same day we arrived Madinah. That covers all the time that is needed for "ziarah luar". We only got 2 days in Madinah and to me it was too short. I wished we had the chance to stay another day but we were told that the hotel that we stayed was already fully booked.

The feeling of being in Mesjid Nabawi is overwhelming. I was so blessed. I'm just HIS servant yet HE is kind to me especially for a first timer. As you walk into the ladies entrance/gate which is gate 25 and gate 29, you really can't explain the feeling. I was mesmerized with the beautiful interior and architecture of the mosque. However, we were not allowed to bring in camera or camera phones. Therefore, I do not have any interior picture of the mosque. The spiritual feeling of overwhelm will make you forget about everything from your problems to your worries. You're all focus for ALLAH.

The next day after we performed the "solat subuh" and had early breakfast, I was all set for Raudha. I prayed to ALLAH in order to give me the opportunity to pray in Raudha on that day. I was told and advised by friends how difficult it can be. People are pushing and fighting through to get into Raudha. I was quite concerned about being stepped on and pushed to the side honestly. Being petite in this case doesn't help BUT Alhamdulillah throughout my whole time praying at the mosque, there was always space for me to pray. ALLAH is always kind to me during my spiritual journey. Syukur Alhamdulillah.

I have heard stories and their experience from some friends that they almost got stepped on and fell on to another person trying to get into Raudha. Raudha or Rawdhah or Roudha as some people spelled it, is the space between the Prophet's Chamber (Aisha's room - one of the Prophet's wife) and the Prophet's Minbar (pulpit). The area takes its chamber name from the Prophet's statement: "What is between my chamber and my pulpit is a garden (rawdhah) from the gardens of Paradise." It is known whoever gets to pray in Raudha, ALLAH will answer your prayers Insya'ALLAH.

I couldn't believe my luck. I was blessed again on the second day. I was told that they now have a system for all pilgrims especially for the ladies to go into Raudha. They started the new system on the 2nd day when I was in Madinah. The Malaysians and the Indonesians are put together in groups. The groups are based on the country they are from. Then the mosque keeper (don't really know what they call the ladies who takes care of the mosque) will bring us into Raudha by the country you are from. Advice to those who plan to go Umrah soon: Stick close to the mosque keeper/guardian. Insya'ALLAH, you'll get the chance to go into Raudha. However be patient because there are hundreds and thousands of people who will want to go into Raudha at the same time with you. Have faith and Insya'ALLAH you'll get your chance.

As for me, I was blessed. I couldn't believe the luck that ALLAH had given to me again. I may have fell on the way to Raudha but luckily no one who's BIGGER size then me stepped on my head or body. Instead they helped me up. Alhamdulillah. Bless the person who pulled me up. After a long walk from one end of the mosque to the other, I finally saw the Prophet's Chamber. Though it was covered but you get to see a glimpse of it. I was speechless. All this while I only read and saw the pictures in many books but that day, for the first time in my life I saw the Prophet's chamber with my own eyes. I was mesmerized again and almost broke down as I walked pass the Prophet's chamber and into Raudha. I kept on praying to ALLAH without realizing that I was already in Raudha. You can tell by looking down at the carpet. The carpets in Raudha is green and gray. Plus, you can also tell by the pillars in Raudha. If you look up to the mini domes, you will be mesmerized.

Though people was pushing everyone around however, I found myself a small space for me to pray. I threw my bag down and started praying to ALLAH. I felt so blessed that I cried. I couldn't stop crying. In fact everyone around me was crying away. I "felt" it. I felt that feeling. It is something you just can't explain. I was blessed. Ya ALLAH, only HE knows what was on my mind. I managed to spend about 20 minutes in Raudha by praying in one corner. I took out my wishlist and prayed to HIM. Alhamdulillah...Alhamdulillah. By the time I was done, one of the mosque guardian/keeper asked me to pray outside.

I walked out from the Raudha area and sat in one corner sobbing away thinking how lucky I was and that ALLAH blessed me with HIS kindness. I could see the Prophet's chamber from where I sat. I spent almost 2 hours in front of the Prophet's chamber praying and reading the some surah.

Note: I managed to pray for all my friends who prayed for my health too. You know who you are! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. This is the only way I can repay your kindness and thoughtful thoughts. I prayed for your health and well being. Insya'ALLAH.

By noon on the 2nd day after solat Zohor, I decided to try my luck again and see if I could get into Raudha. Again, ALLAH answered my dua's. Alhamdulillah with HIS blessings, I set foot into Raudha again for the second time. There's no other way I can explain the feeling that I felt. It was too deep and fulfilling. All I can say is...it's a wonderful feeling of calmness, joy and happiness. Syukur Alhamdulillah.

The same night after solat Isyak, my husband and I decided to do some minor shopping near by the hotel area. The prices and things like arbaya's, kurma ajwa, henna's and tasbihs are quite reasonable. I didn't shop a lot because we were only allowed 20kg for each luggage. Besides, shopping was not the priority at all in my mind. I was more focus towards being close to ALLAH. This trip is about cleansing the soul.

Subuh in Madinah is around 4:45am. Usually by 4am, we would be up preparing for the solat subuh.

On the 3rd day in Madinah, I was so sad. I wished we could stay longer. Our flight to Jeddah was at noon. Roughly, we had time to say goodbye to Prophet. I've decided to try for another go into Raudha for the last time before we fly back to Jeddah and to Mekkah by car.

With ALLAH blessings again, I managed to pray in Raudha for the 3rd time. Syukur Alhamdulillah. This time again, I was sobbing away. I didn't want to leave. My heart felt so heavy to leave Medinah. I had to dragged my feet out after saying my goodbyes at the Prophet's chamber. My husband was already waiting for me outside the gate. I was so sad. I prayed that this was not going to be my last visit. Insya'ALLAH with ALLAH's blessings, I will be back again. Either another Umrah trip or Haj pilgrimage.

As I walked out from Mesjid Nabawi to the hotel which was few hundred meters away, I was already missing the Prophet. My love for ALLAH and the Prophet grew more and more. When the "mutawif" picked us up to bring us to the airport, I couldn't help feeling sad even though I was about to continue my spiritual journey to Mekkah.

By noon, we were already in our Ihrams. All set for the next spiritual journey. The main spiritual journey...The Umrah.

Note: Do have lots of patient when you're at the airport. It may take a while to process your departure.

While I was on the plane on the way to Jeddah/Mekkah, I prayed to ALLAH that I wanted see Mesjid Nabawi again for the last time from air. ALLAH granted me that wish and I saw the mosque from air. I broke down all over again. I couldn't control my emotions as I was sobbing hard. I kept praying to ALLAH so that HE will allow me to come back to Madinah again. Insya'ALLAH dengan izinNYA.

*selawat ke atas Nabi Muhammad s.a.w dan sahabat-sahabatnya*

Next....The Journey into Mekkah Al Mukarramah.

Spititual Trip (Part I)

It is not often that you get to travel to a place that is as Holy as Tanah Haram (the forbidden land). I used to wonder when will I ever set my foot there especially with an open and sincere heart.

Then, came a sign. ALLAH gave me a challenge. It was a challenge that I never thought I'll make it through or survive through it. Alhamdulillah, I did. I fought and survived the ordeal and it was a light bulb moment and an eye opener to my family and close friends who knew what I had then. I was blessed. I was the chosen one in the family. I had cancer and now it's gone Insya'ALLAH. Not that I ever asked for it of course. *mengucap*

After going through all the rough journey of chemotherapy, radical surgery and radiation plus surviving it, I realized that it was time for me to make a change. I wouldn't say a big radical change but more on a spiritual approach to life.

The way to approach it was a trip to the Holy land and I have been praying for that day to come. After a whole year of recuperating and making myself fit, I finally decided that it will be this year. I didn't want to wait any longer. I wanted to go there badly.

ALLAH know what's best for me. He didn't approve of my original plan of leaving sometime in March because HE knew what was coming ahead for me. Our visas was rejected twice for no obvious reason. I was quite frustrated actually. But I had to accept and "redha" with HIS decision. Then finally early April after waiting patiently for 3 weeks, we got the news from our agency that our visas had finally been approved. Alhamdulillah.

We then had roughly 2 days to pack our bags. I was nervous and excited about the whole trip. That day finally came. I was on my way to the Holy land. It was going to be my spiritual soul searching trip. I wouldn't know what I was facing or about to go through for the next coming weeks in Madinah and Makkah. Only HE knows what's best for me. I have surrender my heart and soul to HIM. The heart and mind was focus to...ALLAH and his messenger Nabi Muhammad s.a.w, The Prophet.

..... Spiritual Trip (Part 2) with pictures included next.

Touchdown K.L

It was difficult and I felt so "heavy heart" to leave the Holy land. Will blog about it later when I have more time. I still feel jetlagged from the spiritual journey. What I can say is that I really want to go back there again. Insya'ALLAH.

p.s

Happy Birthday Mom & Dad. May you both have many more birthday celebrations in the coming years.

Insya'ALLAH

Dengan izinNYA.

Ya ALLAH, Permudahkan perjalanan kami pergi dan pulang dari Tanah Suci Mekkah. Amin.

Thank you to those who has sms-ed me earlier to wish us on our trip. My apologies for not replying the sms-es sooner. We've been tied up preparing ourselves for this spiritual trip.

Alhamdulillah

Finally after all the waiting, we got the green light to go. It's a GO next week. Alhamdulillah. My husband and I are on the way for our spiritual and soul searching journey next week Insya'ALLAH. This will be my first and 3rd for the hubby.

Will be back blogging about the trip in 2 weeks time. Have a good week everyone.

p.s

Kalau ada tersilap or terkasar bahasa tu atau menyinggung perasaan, mintak maaf ye. And yes, I forgive those who have not been sincere with the friendship too. Like I said, we're all human and we make mistakes in life. Forgiven and forgotten.

I Vow With My Life

To the person whom I share my life with,

Thank you for trusting me with your life as much as I have trusted you with mine.

There's Hope With Lots of Faith

Click on the papercutting.

Bummer!

Double whammy!! (If there's such a word).

Well, I was at the hospital yesterday to see my lung specialist. I caught the cough bug again. This time around I've decided to go and see the doctor for a proper check-up and medication. I have to make sure that I recover before my trip.

It seems that the flu and cough bug is back again. What else is new!! However I have to be very extra careful. Our good friend's children were hospitalized for bronchitis and it's going around too. It's in the air. Thank God that they have recovered.

This afternoon I called the hospital to request some medication for my anxiety attack at the oncologist clinic. So as usual, I would request to talk to "L". She's one of the Oncologist nurse who have been helping out hundreds or maybe thousands of cancer patients in that hospital. She was my favorite nurse. I remember those days during my chemo treatment, she would come and visit me in the morning to see how I'm coping with the treatment. She was sweet and calm. She's gentle when it comes to handling needles and flushing out my chemo port. She would spray and numb the area before any procedure that requires needle-poking through your skin. Yes, I'm a chicken when it comes to needles.

Anyway, today I found out that she had left. Meaning, I no longer get to see her during my every 4-6 month medical check-up with the oncologist. I was told that she left because she's getting married and moving down to Singapore to work. Bummer!!! I didn't even got the chance to congratulate and wish her well at all. I was stunned. *sigh*

On another note, how do you react to a person who tells you that he/she have cancer and it's at stage 4? What makes it devastating is that he/she is in the late 20's, was an athlete and has a kid.

Speechless? Yeah, I bet some of you are!! Look around or ask yourself, what if this person is YOU.

I'm in my mid 30's. I have family, 2 beautiful kids and a wonderful husband who have been there for me during thick and thin. I fought hard and I survived. Alhamdulillah. Of course my life has never been the same after that.

While this person, similar to my condition before this (different diagnosis of a type of lung cancer) is probably not lucky as I am as he/she caught it at a later stage. Again, let me remind you that this person is in the late 20's and has a kid. Cancer at young age is very risky.

How do you react to this news? Would you as his/her friend stick around and give your full support to this person? Or walk out from the whole relationship/friendship and let the person deal with it alone? He/she may have family but unfortunately no spouse to give him/her additional support neither does the child knows anything about his/her illness.

I pray for this person's health that he/she will fight through this obstacle and be a survivor too. Insya'ALLAH. LiveSTRONG!!

Hard Reset

Darn it!! I had to reset one of my phones and lost all the contacts in it!! ~Ayam-lah!!! (a nicer terms of swearing.)

So, because of that I now have to copy all the 750 contacts back to the back up phone!! Gees, I didn't know I had that many contacts. Plus, some are not the sincere ones too!! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

Who Are Your True Friends?

It's so silly when you hear about people talking and gossipin' about you in this blogging world and you take it seriously. (People talk about me?? But why? I have a boring life. I'm a housewife. I'm not the glamour type either. Neither do I feel that I'm snobish/sombong. Betul, I'm not snobish/sombong. Need to get to know me better!! I'm honest too!! But blurrrrrrrrr most of the time ;) At the same time a little bit laser. To me, a true friend is someone who tells the truth even though it hurts sometimes. So if you can't take it, I'm sorry. Macam takde kerja lain lah! Hahaha)

You'll be surprised how people talk behind your back saying things as if they know you well just by reading your blogs.There are of course other readers also who knows you personally and don't give a shit about who you really are, what you write or think because they already know you well. (So it seems-lah).

Sad as it seems but this is happening in the blogging world. Anyway, who gives a damn. So why should I blog about it?

Well, people talk and gossip about it. At the end, it reaches to your ears. So you see, you can't trust anyone 100% unless they know you very well. As it is I've been blogging for 2 years and been hiding behind the handle of MobileMom because situation and personal reasons which I shall not enclosed. Some of my friends/readers know and they have been kind and trusted enough to keep it a secret. (So it seems). But you know, people talk. People naturally tend to be curious and wanting to know who you are in person for some obvious reason. Yeah I admit I used to be that way too. But I have learned to ignore and not bother with it because I have more important things to think about. Don't like being a busybody! Hahaha

Anyway, I hardly hang out with other bloggers because I mind my own business. However you do get people who seem to mind your business.  But I have met few matured, fun and interesting bloggers personally. They are a fun bunch of people who are like me. - Mind my own business kinda people. You get people out there who talks and gossips telling others who you are, who you are married to, who's her husband/bf, what sort of a person you are, what you have, what you wear, how much jewelry she wears bla bla... etc etc. I still wonder..why? Why bother? Of course along the way I met old friends/irc clans that I've lost touch for years. Plus I do keep intouch with the interesting, fun and matured bloggers. Sometimes I think at the end of the day, it goes down to the age factor.

Well to me as long as they are happy to gossip and talk, go ahead because I don't give a damn. The stories I hear is amazing. I don't even know some of them. Blogging world is nothing compare to the real world that we all live in. I'm sad things like this happen. But I have accept the fact long time ago where you can't control what people say and talk because that's a natural behavior for human being.

Hmm.. up to you la people. It's sad that some friendship that we have and created after so many years end up down the drain because they are not purely sincere. The trust is lost and the sincerity no longer exist. Some would even buy friendships because they just want to fit in. Some tries too hard to fit in by doing silly things which to them is cool-lah. Oh well, life is such.

The truth is that you can't change people's perception and thoughts. Of course it does hurt a bit when it gets to you. I've learned to let it go and move on because these people are not worth being your true friends. (Lantak kau lah!) A true friend will be there for you, cry with you, pray for you, be happy for you and not envious or jealous of what you have and who you are. I'm a nobody like everyone else who just mind her own business. I had enough of people back stabbing me as it is I know who they are and what they have said. Again, I don't give a damn. May these people have a good life.

There, I've said my peace. Just be grateful with what we have and I'm VERY grateful and blessed that ALLAH showed me the guidance. Alhamdulillah.

Unplanned

Sometimes, things happened for a reason and they are all unplanned.

The hubby and I were supposed to fly off for our spiritual trip day after tomorrow but the embassy have not issue any visas out yet. So we won't be going anytime soon. Looks like it will be postponed till early next month. I was so looking forward for this trip. Then again, everything happens for a reason. This is one of the challenges that we face day in day out.

We will get there insya'ALLAH.

So in the mean time it's going to be more research on the spiritual trip, back to planning my little princess's upcoming birthday party and everyday life.

Gosh to be honest, we haven't start packing yet. I think we're just going to get everything ready so that if the agency calls and tell us that the visa is ready, we're ready to go! Insya'ALLAH.